Ex Regret

 "You broke up with your tender, caring girlfriend...but how do you handle your regrets when she becomes a heartless baddie?" 

I.

"What do you mean, it's over?" Lily asked, eyes brimming with tears. 

You'd tried to do this peacefully, gracefully; in a way that would cause her - and you - the least amount of pain. A sleepy part of town. A quiet cafe. But here, now, looking at Lily, dressed all in black, having come from a long walk with her friends, you felt a pang of regret. 

No, harden yourself. You're doing this for a reason. You've put up with enough. 

The thought of what you'd suffered made you frustrated, mad. Your carefully prepared speech went out the window and truth came tumbling out: "Ok, Jesus, look. I just have to be honest, alright. You're too sweet! At first, I loved your tender heart, the kindness you had for everyone. But let's be real, I can see now you're so kind that you'd bend over backwards for a gentle breeze!" 

Lily's lip quivered. "You always said you loved how giving I was..." 

"I did! Jesus Christ, I thought I did! But I'm just realising...you're not girlfriend material. I need a girl w-with some spine!" 

Lily looked away for a moment, teacup shaking in her hand. "J-just give me a chance to change. You know I can change! I -" 

You shook your head, resolute. "I just can't believe that, Lily. I'm really sorry, but we're done." 

Lily looked at you. For a moment, you saw something flash in her eyes. Something you only saw rarely when she was really, truly pushed to madness. "You're going to regret this, you know that don't you?" 

"Maybe, but I'm sorry to say that I'd regret it more staying with you." 

Lily's lips twisted into a scowl. "You'll come crawling back and when you do - " 

"You'll take me back," you said with a nasty grimace. "Cause you need me more than I need you." 

"We'll see about that," she spat, getting to her feet, throwing down a fiver and storming out. 

 II. 

A month later, at the Lotus...

The weeks passed and your guilt faded away like so much summer rain. Some of your girl friends told you you'd been a callous dick, but you didn't pay them much heed. It's hard to see what a relationship is really like when you're outside the relationship. Hard to see the seams. 

Your boys got it though. They got what you were looking for. That's how you ended up in the Lotus a month later, in a black silk shirt and jeans, double-parked with two G&Ts in your hands. 

As you made your way back to your table, your heart-rate spiked. 

"Lily." 

Your ex turned to you, lips curling into a barely-suppressed scowl, pain clear in her dark-brown eyes. 

"Oh, hey." 

"I, uh, didn't realise you went clubbing..." you managed, mouth suddenly dry. 

"I don't, really." She tossed her hair. Her face was modestly made-up - sharp mascara, lip gloss. You remembered why you'd always been attracted to her, despite her...deficiencies. "You remember Clara? My friend from college? Her boyfriend Trent's DJ'ing. DJ Exstatix, or something..."

"Cute name." You cleared your throat."You look really good, that outfit really suits you."

"Oh, thanks." The combination of miniskirt, long-sleeved blouse with a deep cut to show off her modest cleavage, and thigh-highs made her lithe body look pretty amazing. "I think you bought me these," she said in a small voice. 

"Ah, right." You blew out a breath. "Well, look, I hope you're doing alright." 

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to apologise?" 

You were genuinely confused."What would I apologise for?" 

Lily let out a scornful snort. "Alright, cool, great." 

"Lily, wait -" 

"Enjoy your night, dick." She stormed off, leaving you to make your way back to the table. You set your drinks down and tried to distract yourself, but found your eyes kept being drawn back to her, dancing and twirling on the dancefloor. 

Had you made a mistake? 

"No. I was right. I always am." 

III.

A month later...

"What the fuck are you saying to me right now? She's working in the club? She's a pharmacy student!'

Trey shrugged. "Look bro, I don't know what to tell you. My girl said she saw her in there practically every night, for a month." 

You shook your head. "That's...so out of character. She hates clubs, hated going out with anyone but her girls."

"Well, take a look for yourself." 

He showed you a story from her Instagram - from which you'd been, predictably, blocked - you couldn't help but grimacing. She was there with one of her girls - Selena, maybe? Lily was dressed all in white: tight, hip-hugging jeans, with a midriff-bearing, sleeveless, turtleneck blouse. Her brown hair tumbled down her slender shoulders, and golden jewellery glittered on her wrists. 

"Fuck man! She looks so different." 

"Yeah, well, I heard that Lotus has certain beauty standards: hair, dress, makeup, and other things..." 

"Other things?" 

"You've gotta be a baddie, basically." 

"Pfft, well that was never Lily." 

"Maybe not then, but now? I dunno man, I think you let a good one through your fingers. No offence but her tits look banging in that blouse." 

"Shut the fuck up man," you said, slogging him in the arm. "You know I could get her back anytime I wanted." 

"Really? Wanna bet on it?" 

You scoffed. "No doubt. $50 we're back together in a month." 

You didn't mention to Trey how much you'd been thinking of her, how something had stirred in you that was foreign, strange. 

You were drawn to her like a moth to a flame. The old maxim was true: her absence had, sadly, made your heart grow fonder. 

IV.

That weekend...

You'd been waiting outside the Lotus for an hour, and you were getting desperate. What the fuck was going on? You were hot, you knew that. You used to get in after like...10 minutes max. Worse yet, your boys had been let in but you hadn't! You'd been made to stand and wait, like a fucking dog.

Your heart did a somersault when you saw her, strutting towards the club's entrance. 

"Lily!" you called out, a grin coming to your face. "I know her, she's my ex," you said as an aside to the bouncer.

"Sure buddy. You dated Lily Casteno." 

When Lily saw you, she barely reacted. Her face was a perfectly placid picture of barely-suppressed disdain. 

"Oh, you again." 

"Wow, Lily...I um, barely recognised you." 

Lily was dressed in a tight blouse and mini skirt, her tanned midriff and shapely legs practically shining like honey in the night. She was in high heeled boots and her face was made-up subtly, commandingly. 

"I could say the same," she said, with a dead-eyed stare. 

"You look...really amazing." 

"I know." The old Lily might've blushed at the compliment, but she just smirked and tossed her hair. "It's the hot girl energy for me, isn't it? What do you want?"  

"I was hoping you'd be here so we could talk. You've...really changed. I'd really like to talk about, you know, what happened but uh, the bouncer is..." You shrugged towards the bouncer, looking on impassively, unimpressed.

"You want me to get you into the club, and you want to 'chat' about revisiting us?" 

"Yeah, I guess," you said with a nervous giggle. A giggle. You never giggled. What was it about your ex that made you act like a little schoolboy? 

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose we could...for the right tip." 

"The right tip?" 

"Well, I work here now and time is money. Unless you can pay for bottle service..."

"Um, wow. I -" Your words were cut off as Lily began to walk away. "Wait, wait, hold on!" 

You pinched your brow. 

"How much?"

V. 

 

A month later...

You'd tried to have the conversation that night, but she'd fucked off ten minutes into the evening. 

"Yeah, no. I've got tips to make," she said, sauntering off with a dismissive kiss. 

You'd called out to her but she just ignored you, casting you a wicked look every so often to keep you in her thrall. And you were in thrall, as much as you hated to admit it. 

We'll get back together. I just need to show her what she's missing.

You came back every night, expecting different, but it was always the same. 

"Hm, bit short on change again, hon," she said, taking your last $100 with taloned fingers. She was cruel enough to trail a nail across your jawline as she left. 

Lily made you watch as she danced and twirled on the dancefloor, your eyes glued on her lithe body and perky tits in their mesh shirt. You'd wanted to go and flirt with some other girl, make her jealous, but you got the sense that wouldn't have mattered to her. It's not as if you could've anyway. 

There was something in you that was addicted to her new coldness, her new mystique. 

You'd emptied your wallet again for another night when you worked up the courage to ask what all the cash was for. "Are you still studying?" 

"Mm, no. The girls here are so stunning and I wanna compete. I'm booked in for a few adjustments. That's where your cash is going, babe," she said, booping you on the nose. 

You flushed red, heart racing from her touch, deeply embarrassed at how much you craved it. 

VI. 

Months later...

Days turned into weeks turned into months, as you watched your ex morph and change. 

Every spare dollar of yours went towards Lily, towards her transformation. The weeks she wasn't there, you knew she was at the cosmetic surgeon - reshaping her once kind face, injecting silicon into her ever-growing chest. There was a part of you that feared her; she never looked at you with love anymore. 

Yet still, you craved her.

The Lotus had become your second-home - a place you resented but needed to be. How could you see her otherwise? You'd begged her over text to come to her old flat, your flat, to talk. But she'd never talk unless there was cash on the table. 

One night, she was gone. A desperate, frantic search told you she'd been promoted to the VIP Club: Leather and Lace.

You spent three month's rent to get in, but she just rebuffed you. 

"You had me, and you lost me," she said with an imperious smile. "If you want to see me now, you've got to pay me for every bit of suffering you inflicted upon me. Besides, I wanna go up a cup size..."

You burned through your savings next, just to get the chance to see her again. You'd given up on getting back with her, you just needed to see her. A part of you knew how pathetic you were; the other part of you loved your degradation.

"Please, I'd do anything to see you again, Lily..." you'd groaned, as she laughed at your empty wallet and despairing eyes.

"Hm, maybe there's a way," she said, tapping her chin with a long, manicured nail. "My OnlyFans is popping off and I need more simp bitches like you." 

Your heart raced. An OnlyFans? You could see her as you needed to see her! "Anything, I'll do anything!" 

"Good boy," she said, cruel smile on her pouting lips. "Maybe if you're good, I'll let you kiss my perfect little clit..." 

You nearly came right there and then. 

V.

You were ashamed at how totally you capitulated. 

Your cock ached as you filmed your ex posing, preening, touching herself and talking sweetly to her subs. You'd forgotten your pride, forgotten your bet with Trey. In truth, you'd forgotten everything but her. 

Every now and then, she'd smile at you like she used to. You remembered the good times, felt hope stir that they could come your way again with this new, cruel queen. She'd changed, but maybe one day she'd forgive you. You lived in that hope.

You'd just finished filming a photoset for her, clad in a scandalous black bikini that showed off her plastic globes, taught stomach, and high ass. She grinned at you.

"Good work, simp. Maybe I'll give you a reward." 

A reward. Now was your moment. You asked. 

"L-lily, um, I was wondering if...after everything...you'd wanna, maybe, um....get back together? I'm real sorry for hurting you." 

The words were pathetic, wheedling, insecure. Her scornful giggle said enough. 

"Oh, you silly little boy. Yeah, right. Why would I get back together with a pathetic little loser like you? You hated the treasure that I was, but I much prefer you the way you are now. You wanted me to change, simp? I did. Move on, or don't." Her cruel smile spread. "Otherwise, shut the fuck up and lick this clit" she said, exposing her perfect little pussy. "If I see you touching yourself, I'm gonna throw you off this balcony..." 

Your heart was broken, though you knew your request was impossible. You looked up at her and realised the depths of your brokenness. You wanted to spit hellfire at her, but there was nothing left in you. 

With resignation and mounting arousal, you put your face between her perfect thighs and licked. 

You were nothing but a hollow shell of regret now.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my third renovated longer-form version of my Twitter captions. If you enjoy, please like and retweet on Twitter and comment here. If you have any suggestions for stories, DM me on Twitter. 

None of the images are mine and if you wish to have them taken down or removed, please let me know.